No More Wasting Time
Throughout my journey, and my life for that matter, there have been numerous people who have come and gone. There have been people to whom I’ve done wrong and the other way around. There have been people I simply lost connection with. There have been people that I lost. This decade of my life has been very defining. It’s my 20’s, and I’m in my last year of them. You hear a lot about your 20’s; that it’s the time of your life where you’re supposed to fool around, discover yourself, take risks, have fun, etc. I know that at 29 I’m still very young, but honestly my mind feels a lot older. When I look at where I am in life compared to other people my age, or to friends and where they were at my age, I’m often told that I’m ahead of the game. That’s not intended to come off as a brag, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t treated myself as much older than I actually am. I’ve treated myself like someone who needs to get their act together and have an established life. I’ve always been a pretty proactive person, but in the last couple years, I’ve amplified that and really tried to do everything I can to be successful at a young age. I’ve done that because I’ve experienced a lot of losses. I don’t want my life to not be one I’m proud of. I’ve talked about that concept before too. I’ve always been a pretty emotional person, and throughout my life, my strong emotions have led to a lot of decisions, some good and some bad.
I’ve gone through quite the whirlwind of emotions the last week. My mom was life-flighted to a hospital after her heart stopped. She was basically dead for 6 minutes. The strangers where she was, and the paramedics who did CPR are the reason she is still here today. The reason I started this off talking about people throughout my journey is because throughout many peoples’ journeys in life, there are prominent figures. In my life, my mother has been the most significant person. In my family, there are different relationships between different people. Some of us are closer with certain relatives than we are with others. I’ve always been closest to my mom. As a kid, I always wanted to be near her. As an adult, I’ve always made sure to keep her close in every way I can. After the last week where I almost lost her…. How do you think that affected me? I can’t even put it into words.
Certain moments in life teach you a lot. They wake you up, change your headspace, completely alter your senses of reality. Whether those moments are terrific or terrifying, you learn a lot and take a lot away from them. Some of those lessons are with you your whole life. I’ve noticed that recently I’ve really reflected. I’ve listened to music I haven’t listened to in years, watch movies and shows I haven’t seen since I was little. I’ve brought back my favorite things from earlier in life, and I’ve seen the parts of me that have changed and the parts that have remained the same. The day my mom’s heart stopped, I felt off the entire day. My head was slow, blank, my body a little tired. I dreamt of her the night before. She and I were together on a dance floor dancing to all her favorite music. I get the call that night and didn’t sleep. I left early the next morning to go see her, and since, she’s made an unheard-of recovery in a miraculous timeframe. Even though things are ok now, the experience was traumatic. Days later, I’m still feeling the effects. This is too significant to simply go back to normal life after a day or two. This is a wakeup call for sure.
I’m not going to lie, things are going well career wise for me, but there are things I could be accomplishing or doing that I’m simply not. There are days I allow laziness. I realize taking a day off is important and that I need time to recharge so I don’t burn out, but there are times when I don’t have that much going on and could very well be doing more to advance my business and grow, but I simply don’t. My mom almost lost her life last week. What if she did?
Clearly, life is short and unpredictable. You cannot possibly know when your time is up. Last time I wrote of this concept, it was just that, a concept. Having experienced what I did the last week, I’m not going to be upset with myself with wasted time in the past, but I’m certainly not going to allow it anymore. I’m a very lucky person who has worked hard to get where I am. I want more, and it’s not going to come easily, but I’ll be damned if I waste another day not trying to get where I want to be.
